April 1, 2017 - Ed Sheeran (8)

Now, I'm sure many of you expected some over the top April Fools joke, but sorry to say, I'm not good at thinking of those. Anyway, this week. Not that much happened, except for one big exit, and we'll get to that shortly. Aside from that there really wasn't much to this. I don't really have a lot to say here. So without further ado, here are the songs leaving us this week.

• Unsteady by X Ambassadors (#44)

The Countdown!
Last Week’s #1 Song: Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran
45. Words by Daya (#45)
44. Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay (#42)
43. Let Me Love You by DJ Snake with Justin Bieber (#41)
42. This Town by Niall Horan (#36)
41. I Got You by Bebe Rexha (#43)
40. Make Me (Cry) by Noah Cyrus featuring Labrinth (#40)
39. Side To Side by Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj (#37)
38. Don't Wanna Know by Maroon 5 (#38)
37. Starboy by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (#33)
36. L.A. Devotee by Panic! At The Disco (#34)
35. 24K Magic by Bruno Mars (#43)
34. Scars To Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara (#32)
33. Miss You by James Hersey (#39)
32. Weak by AJR (#26)
31. Love On The Brain by Rihanna (#28)
30. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (#29) (two weeks at #1)
29. Water Under The Bridge by Adele (#18)
28. Everyday by Ariana Grande featuring Future (debut)
27. Just Hold on by Steve Aoki featuring Louis Tomlinson (#19)
26. Heathens by Twenty-one Pilots (#20) (two weeks at #1)
25. All Time Low by Jon Bellion (#22)
24. Death Of A Bachelor by Panic! At The Disco (#25)
23. Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Anne-Marie and Sean Paul (#31)
22. Believer by Imagine Dragons (#27)
21. Issues by Julia Michaels (#21)
20. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (#24)
19. Million Reasons by Lady Gaga (#16)
18. Heavydirtysoul by Twenty-one Pilots (#30)
17. Play That Song by Train (#14)
16. Chained To The Rhythm by Katy Perry featuring Skip Marley (#15)
15. Cold by Maroon 5 (#12)
14. Stay by Zedd featuring Alessia Cara (#13)
13. Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur (#23)
12. It Ain't Me by Kygo featuring Selena Gomez (#17)
11. Heavy by Linkin Park featuring Kiiara (#10)
10. Paris by The Chainsmokers (#11)
9. I Don't Wanna Live Forever by Zayn Malik and Taylor Swift (#7)
8. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey featuring Zedd (#5) (four weeks at #1)
7. HandClap by Fitz And The Tantrums (#8)
6. Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello (#2)
5. Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran (#6)
4. That's What I Like by Bruno Mars (#9)
3. Mercy by Shawn Mendes (#3)
2. Closer by The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (#4)
#1 Song This Week One Year Ago: My House by Flo Rida (first and only week at #1)
1. Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran (#1) (eighth week at #1)

Biggest DRRRRRRROP!!! Of The Week: Water Under The Bridge by Adele (-11)

Biggest Jump Of The Week: Heavydirtysoul by Twenty-one Pilots (+12)

New Entrants
- So, more Ariana Grande, huh? But of course they had to take the song that almost everyone was hoping wouldn't be a pick - Everyday. Mostly for the fact that Future is in this one, and I'm honestly amazed that Hits 1 kept his verse, because they are definitely known for cutting rappers out of pop songs, including him in Cold. Also, did I hear the word "bitch" not censored in his verse? Anyway, it's definitely the worst of the Dangerous Woman singles we've had so far, including the title track, and I've heard that it's already flopped. So I really don't have much to say about it. I basically don't care what happens to it.

He Blurbed Me To It Everyday
- I believe that now we must pause for an obituary. Unsteady by X Ambassadors made its countdown debut on April 16, 2016. Having been liked by some in the wake of this band's previous countdown song, Renegades from 2015, for the most part its existence was not highly acknowledged...until it entered the Top 20. It would quickly have the biggest drop of the week twice in a row, right back down to the bottom five of the countdown, then it somehow re-entered the Top 10 in a matter of time. At that point, people ganged up on it for what I felt like was no reason other than it getting big. Miles and I both tried to defend it, thinking people were being hard on it just because. But that was just us living in denial, much like how until October 2012, Eric Cartman from South Park would deny that he was fat. We did not want to hate it, but eventually, we had to come to the brutal truth that this was not the meaningful song we believed it to be. Multiple times we thought it was on the verge of departure only for it to rebound out of absolutely nowhere. Spyder once even called it "the song that never goes away", which he even said makes him unsteady himself. Puns aside, the departure of this song was a shocker, as it finally ran out of steam. I can't say Unsteady will be missed, because it definitely will not be. But it does leave us with one less thing that cannot be explained, and as stated by a former countdown blogger who said similar things about another song from years ago, that takes away part of the magic of being alive. Goodbye, Unsteady. It's been real.

...Yes, that was kind of a take on CountdownRecap's obituary on Next To Me by Emeli Sands back in 2013, but I had to do something like that for this occasion. That aside...

- Before introducing Let Me Love You, Spyder talked about how it's important to read your scripts carefully before letting them public, because he spoke something of reading on how Zayn and Justin Bieber were possibly planning a "hug collaboration". It's like... Are they collaborating to hug? Or did whoever said that forget to put an "e" at the end of that word? Yeah, whoever said that, get your spelling straight, darn it!

- So 24K Magic didn't depart after 24 weeks... Guess we'll find out how much longer it hangs on.

- Both Water Under The Bridge and Just Hold On have dropped out of the Top 20 and are now in the bottom half of the countdown. I've enjoyed them both, but if their time is nearing, I'm alright with that I guess.

- Before introducing Issues, Spyder played a clip from The Morning Mash-Up when Julia Michaels herself was there, and they took the song and played with it their occasional game where they insert bleeps in place of a few words. "You don't...(bleep) me...cause if you did, baby, I would (bleep) you too!"

- At least I Feel It Coming re-entered the Top 20. I don't know how long it'll stay there, but we'll see if this ends up becoming another The Hills.

- About time that Heavydirtysoul actually entered the Top 20! Now let's see if it can do better.

- The guest DJ who introduced Stay said that she was on her way to New Orleans for a wedding, and that Kid Kelly was on her "you know what" list for giving Spyder such a hard time for being sick the past week. Spyder cheered upon hearing that. I like Kid Kelly, though. I do.

- And then Say You Won't Let Go takes ANOTHER random re-entry into the Top 20. As I said, it's nice to see this become the sleeper hit it's been, but its tenure so far has been pretty weird.

- We only had one new Top 10 entrant, Paris. I guess that works for me.

- With Starving and Bad Things out of the Top 5 and Castle On The Hill and That's What I Like there, that's looking much better. Can we please get both of the former two out of the countdown already (especially Starving)?

- Speaking of That's What I Like, it was the birthday weekend of the guest DJ who introduced that song, and she said that she was turning 29 and "was gonna stay 29 for the rest of her life". That made me think she was introducing Closer, but alas. I was hoping it'd hit #1, but eh. Hopefully soon!

- Sorry if there weren't too many blurbs. Not a lot really happened this week.

Hit-Bound
Don't Leave by Snakehips featuring MØ
Good News by Ocean Park Standoff
Good Time, Good Life by Erin Bowman
Slide by Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean and Migos
Overwhelming by Jon Bellion (debut)
Lights Down Low by MAX featuring gnash
Green Light by Lorde
Cake by Flo Rida featuring 99 Percent
Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
All Night by The Vamps featuring Matoma
American Girls by One Ok Rock
Touch by Little Mix
Talk Too Much by Coin
Swalla by Jason Derulo featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj

- So our one Hit-Bound entrant consists of more Jon Bellion. Overwhelming isn't quite as good as All Time Low but it's another song that's easy to see the full premise behind.

Also, I decided I won't be doing the Top 20 breakdowns every time. For the most part the color code's there, so you can kinda get a general idea of what I think of the songs in general. Usually it'll be passed if I find myself pressed to get updates out (like I am here).

Countdown Bottom 5
1. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey featuring Zedd
2. Make Me (Cry) by Noah Cyrus featuring Labrinth
3. Play That Song by Train
4. Don't Wanna Know by Maroon 5
5. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes

Countdown Top 5
1. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk
2. That's What I Like by Bruno Mars
3. Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran
4. Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Anne-Marie and Sean Paul
5. 24K Magic by Bruno Mars

Hit-Bound Top 5
1. Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
2. Slide by Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean and Migos
3. Don't Leave by Snakehips featuring MØ
4. Green Light by Lorde
5. Touch by Little Mix

Most Missed Song: Love Me Again by John Newman

#1 Recommendation For Hits 1 And The Countdown: Symphony by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson

Favorite Countdown Song This Week One Year Ago: 7 Years by Lukas Graham

Songs That Debuted This Week One Year Ago:
Somebody To Love Me by Tryon — For a guy and song that don't even have their own Wikipedia page, this has some good vocal charisma and nice instrumentation.
Sound Of Your Heart by Shawn Hook — Eh.
America's Sweetheart by Elle King — Unfortunately, Elle King ended up being another one-hit wonder, at least here in the states. Also, I still hear her saying "fuck this town" in the chorus.

QOTD: What would you consider the unluckiest #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in recent memory? For me, I would say Cold Water, because when it debuted, it was #1 in both sales and streaming, whereas the song that was #1 blocking it was not as strong in either of those, coasting primarily on radio, and by the time Cold Water was gaining in that, it was too late because Closer was dominant. 7 Years is a close second on that front, though.

Thanks for reading, everybody!