April 22, 2017 - Bruno Mars (1)

So, believe it or not, this would be my birthday weekend! I will be turning 26 tomorrow. For this week, I'll certainly take it. While we traded a good song for an iffy one (more on that later), our Top 10 is once again looking pretty solid - including our new #1. And it does feel good to not have to search for good Ed Sheeran pictures, and overall I'll say this was a relatively good round. Also, for clarification, I turned off comment moderation, as a month has passed so I think that's enough. If things get wack again I can always turn it back on, but hopefully I won't have to do that. So without further ado, here are the songs leaving us this week.

• Starboy by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (#41)

The Countdown!
Last Week’s #1 Song: Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran
45. Million Reasons by Lady Gaga (#25)
44. Death Of A Bachelor by Panic! At The Disco (#44)
43. Love On The Brain by Rihanna (#45)
42. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (#28)
41. Side To Side by Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj (#43)
40. This Town by Niall Horan (#42)
39. Miss You by James Hersey (#39)
38. Heathens by Twenty-one Pilots (#38) (two weeks at #1)
37. Cake by Flo Rida featuring 99 Percent (debut)
36. Now Or Never by Halsey (#40)
35. Don't Leave by Snakehips featuring MO (#36)
34. Lights Down Now by MAX featuring gnash (#37)
33. 24K Magic by Bruno Mars (#29)
32. Don't Wanna Know by Maroon 5 (#33) (three weeks at #1)
31. Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello (#16)
30. Water Under The Bridge by Adele (#30)
29. Just Hold on by Steve Aoki featuring Louis Tomlinson (#26)
28. All Time Low by Jon Bellion (#21)
27. I Don't Wanna Live Forever by Zayn Malik and Taylor Swift (#32)
26. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey featuring Zedd (#20) (four weeks at #1)
25. Sign Of The Times by Harry Styles (#35)
24. Slide by Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean and Migos (#34)
23. All Night by The Vamps featuring Matoma (#22)
22. HandClap by Fitz And The Tantrums (#17)
21. Chained To The Rhythm by Katy Perry featuring Skip Marley (#23)
20. Play That Song by Train (#19)
19. Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay (#31)
18. Heavy by Linkin Park featuring Kiiara (#5)
17. Weak by AJR (#24)
16. L.A. Devotee by Panic! At The Disco (#27)
15. Issues by Julia Michaels (#18)
14. Heavydirtysoul by Twenty-one Pilots (#11)
13. Closer by The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (#14) (eight weeks at #1)
12. Cold by Maroon 5 (#13)
11. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (#10)
10. Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran (#1) (one week at #1)
9. Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Anne-Marie and Sean Paul (#12)
8. Believer by Imagine Dragons (#15)
7. It Ain't Me by Kygo featuring Selena Gomez (#4)
6. Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur (#3)
5. Paris by The Chainsmokers (#6)
4. Mercy by Shawn Mendes (#7)
3. Stay by Zedd featuring Alessia Cara (#2)
2. Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran (#1) (nine weeks at #1)
#1 Song This Week One Year Ago: Stressed Out by Twenty-one Pilots (fourth of five weeks at #1)
1. That's What I Like by Bruno Mars (#8) (first week at #1)

Biggest DRRRRRRROP!!! Of The Week: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga (-20)

Biggest Jump Of The Week: Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay (+12)

New Entrants
- So, here are a few questions for you: are you guys as sick as I am of viral hits flogging the charts? Or being flooded with generic tropical house dance stuff? Do you ever feel like past hits of certain artists make you miss their thing? And does it annoy you when acts use "cake" as a reference to booty or sexual connotations, particularly spamming it in succession (cough Birthday Cake by Chris Brown and Rihanna cough)? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then bad news for you, because Flo Rida has returned with a song by the name of Cake, which is on the This Is A Challenge EP with infamous meme songs like Watch Me, Hit The Quan and Juju On That Beat. The song itself is about how he, and the hip-hop duo 99 Percent, have come to a venue not to party, but to pick up chicks, hence them saying they "only came for the cake". And in 99 Percent's verse, they literally copy/paste Flo Rida's verse and they're almost no different. What's more, when you have a man who's been known to be big for the party scene saying that he's only here to pick up and not party... That's just not right, bro. Just not right. The cake is a lie. But I'll say, at least I can consider it funny-bad. Not to mention at least it's short, clocking in at only 2:37. We'll see how far this piece of weird cake goes.

I Only Came For The Blurbs
- And not helping that is that it took out a song that after over six months, I still consider pretty solid, not to mention I know is a big fan favorite from last year. Goodbye, Starboy. Although your lyrical content might have been nonsense, Hits 1 underrated you like they did The Hills in 2015. While definitely not to the same degree as that one, you were still quite respectable. So, farewell, Starboy. You will be missed.

- It's nice to see Treat You Better finally drop into the bottom 5. Hopefully it'll leave soon. Million Reasons, however, while I have been growing out of it, I do wish had done better all-around than it did after Perfect Illusion didn't.

- I'm not surprised that Heathens is still here. Or that I still like it. I honestly don't think I'll care if it lasts a year (which it probably won't, but that'd be interesting).

- Our debuts from two weeks ago continue to do nothing here. Don't Leave I wish would do as its name says, while Lights Down Low I'm fine with flopping.

- On the other hand, two of our debuts from last week jumped exactly ten spots. And I am fine with both of them jumping, as they're both pretty solid in their own right.

- Speaking of Lights Down Low, before introducing that, Spyder spoke of MAX playing the song at a wedding for a couple that actually used that song during it. I think that's pretty interesting. Well, that's what I heard, at least.

- Before introducing Starving, Spyder mentioned Hailee Steinfeld doing a cover of Shape Of You at Coachella. I saw the clip, and I honestly don't know how to react to her saying those lines like Ed did. When Ed did it, it at least sounded amusing. But with a near-adult chick, it doesn't sound right.

- Before Chained To The Rhythm, Spyder mentioned that Katy Perry has said that she sees a therapist and how we all need help at times ourselves. She sure could use it after her Bad Blood with Taylor Swift! Also, he didn't properly introduce it. Haha.

- Now if we could please get Play That Song out of the Top 20, and likewise the countdown, that'd be great.

- At least my favorite had the biggest jump from its debut last week, so that's certainly a plus. With how well it's done elsewhere, it'd be nice to see it do as good here, too.

- And on the note of funny-bad songs, listening to Issues, Julia Michaels' vocals are so funny that it makes me feel like she's singing "bad" on purpose. It makes the song hard for me to take seriously.

- Both Rockabye and Believer are completely welcomed (back) into the Top 10 for me. Sure, stay as long as you so desire.

- So the video for Stay dropped the other day. Unintentional rhyme aside, I'll say it had an interesting idea and was kinda cool...right up until the very end. :( Spoilers: Alessia Cara runs into Zedd with her car and gets arrested.

- But finally, we get to our #1. It was interesting to see the top 2 from two weeks ago sink to a lower reach of the Top 10, then this week they both roared up seven spots. Not only that, but this is the second week in a row where the #1 has dropped at least eight spots. Geez, you'd think they would have more stability than that! But I'm not complaining at all. I am thoroughly enjoying That's What I Like and it's really hard for me to not like this song. If it doesn't hit #1 on Billboard after all's said and done, at least it did here, and I'm very much pleased with this. Definitely fitting for my birthday weekend.

Hit-Bound
American Girls by One Ok Rock
There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back by Shawn Mendes (debut)
Still Got Time by Zayn featuring PARTYNEXTDOOR
The Cure by Lady Gaga (debut)
Good Life by Kehlani featuring G-Eazy
Break My Heart by Hey Violet
Sooner Or Later by Aaron Carter
Good Time, Good Life by Erin Bowman
Swalla by Jason Derulo featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj
Attention by Charlie Puth (debut)
Overwhelming by Jon Bellion
Kissing Strangers by DNCE
Good News by Ocean Park Standoff
Wicked by Mansionz featuring G-Eazy

- So we lost I Feel So Bad and Talk Too Much. The latter unsurprisingly, but the former I did hear on the station earlier in the week so I don't think it's out for good.

- Well, to start our round of new arrivals here, we have more Shawn Mendes. I'll say, I am liking this new song of his. I don't know who told him to try to go Latin, but for some reason...it actually works for me. More when it debuts.

- We also have more Lady Gaga. The Cure, while not with a bad narrative, has weird production behind it. I'll probably have more to say on that matter later as well.

- Before introducing Good Time, Good Life, Mikey Piff mentioned that Erin Bowman's musical debut was singing the theme song of the 12th season of the Pokémon anime, Diamond and Pearl: Galactic Battles. Very interesting. In addition to that, this was the 10th anniversary of the US release of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, the first main series game for the DS that featured things like Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection. And while they haven't held up today as well as they did when they were new, they opened the road for games that would establish on what it introduced, like Heart Gold and Soul Silver, Black 2 and White 2, X and Y, and now Sun and Moon. ...And there I go again.

- That's right, Swalla is my new favorite song on Hit-Bound. It's so weird but I just can't help but like the song. I don't even know why.

- And then we come to a new single from Charlie Puth. I'm sure many of you just want this guy to go away after Marvin Gaye, One Call Away and We Don't Talk Anymore, but to tell you the truth, I'm enjoying this new single of his. It sounds good at least, but once again I'll have more words for it if it debuts.

Also, because it's my birthday weekend, let's do a YouTube15 take, shall we?

Starboy by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk
Down by Marian Hill
Be Who You Are by The Kooks
Closer by The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey
Me & You by Lawrence
24K Magic by Bruno Mars
1 Night by Mura Masa and Charli XCX
Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul and Anne-Marie
Hey Ma by J Balvin featuring Pitbull and Camila Cabello
Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran
Waterfall by Stargate featuring Sia and P!nk
Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
Run Up by Major Lazer featuring PARTYNEXTDOOR and Nicki Minaj
That's What I Like by Bruno Mars
Symphony by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson

- I'm surprised Starboy and 24K Magic are still here. Not necessarily complaining about either, but it's pretty impressive. Closer doesn't surprise me though, because Closer.

- Then we have Down by Marian Hill. You know, the song that got big because of the Apple AirPods commercial, and is regarded by many as the same song as Gold by Kiiara, which was among the most infamous songs of 2016. I will say that I feel like it has at least somewhat of a proper narrative, but it's not exactly ideal and doesn't have very much going on. It's amusing, at the least.

- Be Who You Are is another song in the vein of 2000's rock. And those I do like in some sense.

- 1 Night is definitely an improvement from the crappy After The Afterparty, as it doesn't feel as juvenile and it's not lifeless or as overproduced. Something I could get down to.

- Of all the songs in blue, I would say that Run Up is the one closest to red. It would probably be red if it weren't for Nicki Minaj's verse. As for Me & You, that song isn't necessarily bad, but it's pretty lame substantially.

- And that brings me to the representation from the new Furious movie: Hey Ma. Contrary to what I may have said before, this one was a grower. Pitbull and Camila Cabello are two acts I would definitely see fitting into a Latin based song like that. And the latter's presence is minimal, and as I said, she looked gorgeous in the video for the song. J Balvin does most of the work on this. So yeah. I kinda like it.

- We also have a collaboration between Stargate, one of the more mixed hit creators of this decade, and one who made one of the more infamous songs of last year among YouTubers but one of the most beloved by the countdown fam. Waterfall is quite pretty, and sounds similar in structure to Diamonds by Rihanna from 2012, which Sia had writing credit on before she really started to gain traction with Chandelier. Both singers sound quite well on this.

- You know, for as much praise as I gave both Something Just Like This and 24K Magic, Symphony I might like just as much as both of those. That song has been doing pretty well outside of the states, so here's to hoping it'll cross over here, because if it does, I'll likely have yet another frontrunner for my top songs of the year.

Top 20 Breakdown:
0 — Shit:
20. Play That Song by Train

1 — Bad:
19. Cold by Maroon 5

2 — Meh:
None!

3 — Decent:
18. Heavy by Linkin Park featuring Kiiara
17. Issues by Julia Michaels
16. Weak by AJR

4 — Good:
15. Closer by The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey
14. Mercy by Shawn Mendes

5 — Great:
13. Paris by The Chainsmokers
12. Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur
11. Stay by Zedd featuring Alessia Cara
10. Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran
9. It Ain't Me by Kygo featuring Selena Gomez
8. L.A. Devotee by Panic! At The Disco
7. Heavydirtysoul by Twenty-one Pilots
6. Believer by Imagine Dragons
5. Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran
4. Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul and Anne-Marie
3. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk

6 — Favorite Song Bonus:
1. Tie: Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
1. Tie: That's What I Like by Bruno Mars

Overall score: 85/100

Countdown Bottom 5
1. Don't Wanna Know by Maroon 5
2. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes
3. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey featuring Zedd
4. Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello
5. Play That Song by Train

Countdown Top 5
1. Tie: Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
1. Tie: That's What I Like by Bruno Mars
3. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk
4. Slide by Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean and Migos
5. 24K Magic by Bruno Mars

Hit-Bound Top 5
1. Swalla by Jason Derulo featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj
2. Sooner Or Later by Aaron Carter
3. Good News by Ocean Park Standoff
4. Good Time, Good Life by Erin Bowman
5. Attention by Charlie Puth (plz don't hate me)

YouTube15 Top 5 (no Bruno Mars allowed here, gotta be fair)
1. Tie: Symphony by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson
1. Tie: Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
3. Rockabye by Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul and Anne-Marie
4. Waterfall by Stargate featuring Sia and P!nk
5. Hey Ma by J Balvin featuring Pitbull and Camila Cabello (fight me)

Most Missed Song: Adventure of a Lifetime by Coldplay - Remember how I was just talking about Stargate? Yeah, both this and Hymn For The Weekend are among songs they produced.

Favorite Countdown Song This Week One Year Ago: I Took A Pill In Ibiza by Mike Posner

Songs That Debuted This Week One Year Ago:
I Took A Pill In Ibiza by Mike Posner — Who would have thought that the Cooler Than Me guy would be someone capable of making himself look lame and actually make it sound interesting?
Make Me Like You by Gwen Stefani — I still remember watching the video for this song the night of the Grammys last year and how it was shot. And I do wish that they had given her more of a chance after such a long time away. I mean, I'd take this over Hollaback Girl, that's for sure.

QOTD: Do you think Symphony will cross over to the states and be successful here? As I said, the song's been big outside the US, and given that Clean Bandit have had two top 10 hits and Zara Larsson cracked the Top 20 last year, so if it gets pushed to pop radio (which hopefully they will with Rockabye dying down), I think it has a chance at becoming a summer hit. I can only hope.

Thanks for reading, everybody!